I need new angels, all the old ones put concrete in my vains!

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 02:45:46 GMT

Top Commenters on iizcrazihun's LiveJournal

1	iizcrazihun	6
2	daydreamer07	6
3	wildcat_kermit	5
4	c4n4d14n_h1pp13	5
5	guitarnprogress	3
6	phoenixrae	2
7	Anonymous	1
8	danielle23_04	1
9	sue_bridehead	1

Total Commenters: 9
Total Comments: 30
Report generated 9/21/2005 7:45:23 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.6

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 02:43:50 GMT

You are a
Social Moderate
(50% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(33% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Centrist

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 09:01:02 GMT

wow....its been alittle while. I gotta talk to my friend, get an actual layout going. I saw this in my friends Journal

Ask me for "top 5" lists of pretty much anything, and I will list for you my top five of that thing or things. Copy and give your own top fives

Thought that was pretty cool. eh, lots going on, I just don't necessarily wanna type it. Maybe later.

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 23:35:59 GMT

Take the quiz: "WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?"

Agnostic
You've probably studied loads of different religions, but you're just not sure if any of it is true. Evolution makes some sense to you, but it doesn't satisfy you. Lastly, your personality is one of question, but you won't go out of your way to find -The Truth- It's more of a hobby.

stigmata

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 10:03:50 GMT

I am going to make a list...of all the things I dislike about myself...here we go

I am to....

protective

loud

obnoxious

opinionated

stubborn

hard headed

perverted

determined to get my point across

single minded

unreasonable

annoying

bitchy

disaggreable

dislikeable

horrid

insufferable

ornery

pestiferous

reprehensible

defensive

safeguarding

adamant

agressive

inflexible

unyielding

Now things about my looks....this could take a while...stop while your ahead....

HIGHLIGHT THE TEXT UNDER THIS ... DONT WANNA SCARE THE LITTLE ONES

I AM TO FUCKING SHORT PERIOD. I AM SHORT. ITS NOT A GOOD THING.

my hair is to short

my eyes are not any special brown, there just muddy brown.

my nose is to long.

my top lip isnt full enough, my bottom isnt thin enough.

my neck isnt elegent, its just there.

my shoulders have freckles.

my arms are to pudgy.

my hands are always dry.

my fingers are to short.

my nails are not brittle enough.

my breast are to small.

my nipples to big.

my back has scoliosis.

my ass is way to big.

my thighs are to fat.

my left knee is ugly.

my right knee has a huge fucking scar on it.

my lower legs have to much muscle thingy.

my feet are feet.

my feet are big.

my toes are long.

my stomach sticks out to much.

its fat.

the only thing i like about me, that you can barley see is my hips...i like them.

my eyelashes arnt long enough, nor full.

my hair is to thick.

it sticks up everywhere.

its frizzy.

what other lists are there.........lets be random.

my random ness is................

I like to much sports, its a turn off for guys.

I have little to no faith in the human world.

i find myself able to keep up a conversation, while little others can.

i think to much.

im not blond.

im not blue eyed.

im HELLUV short. it bugs me, alot.

i have bi polar.

im unapproachable.

unlikable.

now im depressed.

crap

oh well just say fuck it eh

buhye

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 06:03:57 GMT

You kno ur a acholic when

Quote

You kno ur a acholic when

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar

When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof?

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Hotties.

You have a "happy hour" at home

When you are sober, people ask you what's wrong?

You spend all night making a board game called Alcohol Land

Although you drove home the other night you can't remember how you got home or where you parked your car

"Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol."

Your favorite drink is ethanol.

"Why does everybody think I have a prinking droblem?! - I don't have a prinking droblem!"

"I don't have a drinking prob..pleb..prub.. *hic* Pash me another, tarbender."

You can spend a whole night holding up walls to prevent their (your) collapse.

You instinctively know where the alcohol is in a store you've never been in before

Clubs raise their drink prices because you haven't attended in a while

You think beer and ramen make a good breakfast

You frequently urinate outdoors.

When you first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour later you're afraid you won't.

You fall asleep taking a dump.

You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.

You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.

You find it's easier to study drunk.

You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center.

Beer ads make sense.

You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.

You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half empties left sitting around the room.

The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color reads "bloodshot".

You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.

You mix your cocktails by the litre.

You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your chin.

You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic Zen-like piss.

When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.

You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth

Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

"Norm!" is what they say when you enter the bar.

You can focus better with one eye closed

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar

You fall off the floor.

You discover in the morning that liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously disappeared.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore.

The glass keeps missing your mouth.

Vampires get woozy after bitting you.

At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.

Every night you're beginning to find your roomate's cat more and more attractive.

If you're on a diet, you cut back your food calories to allow for alcohol calories.

"Take me drunk, I'm home!"

You wake up naked lying in the corner of a bus depot.

You drink to get over a hangover.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who drink

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 12:15:43 GMT

HI JAY

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 12:08:41 GMT

welp its tuesday. danielle and i are still fighting but i just cant bring myself to care anymore. i just feel like if she wants to do something stupid with her body then who am i to tell her not to. kinda bored right now. its 4:48 in the morning. i was walking along and talking on the phone tonight and ran into the wall and my lip hit my tooth and my lip started bleeding. now its kinda like split. it hurt really bad. now im telling everyone how stupid i am :::rolls eyes::: joy. i was addicted to video games for three days. i stopped though. what else has been happening. nothing really. rainey wont be on for a while. ill miss her. ive been talking to tyrel again not quite sure if its the same though. i feel like anything i say to him will set him off right now. my maria and me are weird lol i didnt talk to her for a day and it felt like forever. jordons emo. kids having kids scares me. sponge bob is on hate this show now. i feel kinda woozy. my friends want me to go to the doctors because i cough up blood sometimes. itll be fine but people are whiny. aw you should go yada yada. just bite me. i kinda feel like somethings bothering me i just cant figure out why. almost like i forgot to do something, and i know what it is, but i just cant grasp it. i thought writting this journal would help me figure out what it was. but it didnt. should stop. probally will. lol just not yet. i havnt talked to cupcake in a while. or yolanda but i kinda avoid her anymore. ravens changed but shes still pretty cool. my cousin has a boyfriend. talked to taylor again hes still chuggin. been talking to bambi shes pretty radical. talked to a guy named alex hes got alot of common interests.

i decided to stop the journal now. buhye

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 11:41:06 GMT

idk if i did this one before, but if i did...its gonna be interesting seeing my older answers.

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Lela
Birthday:	feb. 17, 88
Birthplace:	a hospital
Current Location:	colusa
Eye Color:	hazel
Hair Color:	changing
Height:	5'1'' and a half
Right Handed or Left Handed:	ambidextrous
Your Heritage:	white people
The Shoes You Wore Today:	there cute with duckies, course there not shoes though there socks
Your Weakness:	sexual? my ear/neck...weakness in general, my family.
Your Fears:	spiders! losing someone close to me. fights with friends or family.
Your Perfect Pizza:	one that tasted like chinese. i dont like pizza
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	To be able to become happy with myself.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	HFS...rainey'll get it... lol, hehe, haha, thats hot, gah, blah, eck, uck, HFS
Thoughts First Waking Up:	what am i late for this morning
Your Best Physical Feature:	some people say my freckles, other say my hair, i say my nose
Your Bedtime:	rugrats
Your Most Missed Memory:	some of you may not get it, but nostalgia is my most missed memory
Pepsi or Coke:	coke
McDonald	um, okay big mac!
Single or Group Dates:	depends on the mood
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	arizona ice tea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	fudge
Cappuccino or Coffee:	cappuccino, perferablly espresso shots though
Do you Smoke:	nope
Do you Swear:	yup
Do you Sing:	yup but im horrible at it
Do you Shower Daily:	yup
Have you Been in Love:	the thing with love is when your with someone you think your in love then when your outta the relationship your not sure if its lust or love. i dont think i have been though
Do you want to go to College:	sooners bitches
Do you want to get Married:	to a real life cowboy southern general
Do you belive in yourself:	i belive that I am able to do what i set my mind to
Do you get Motion Sickness:	yes i do
Do you think you are Attractive:	thats a funny story. i dont at all. but someone said something to me today that just made me feel beautiful. but no i dont think i am, and i know im not
Are you a Health Freak:	abit at times
Do you get along with your Parents:	i try to but im a very hard headed person
Do you like Thunderstorms:	NO NO NO NO NO
Do you play an Instrument:	i play many but i am definetly a drummer :D
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	no
In the past month have you Smoked:	no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	:D YUP :D:D:D:D:D with peanut butter
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	ew freaks
In the past month have you been on Stage:	yup
In the past month have you been Dumped:	nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	lol nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	nope
Ever been Drunk:	uhhu
Ever been called a Tease:	many times by one person
Ever been Beaten up:	yah but its best if we dont talk about that one time
Ever Shoplifted:	unfortunatly
How do you want to Die:	i want to die in a house full of everyone i love knowing that i love them all
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	a music teacher
What country would you most like to Visit:	switzerland....mmm chocolate fudge
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	blue
Favourite Hair Color:	dark hair but really i dont care as long as they are funny
Short or Long Hair:	short i hate it long
Height:	id say taller than me but that aint saying much. something above 5'8 perferablly
Weight:	i dont fucking care
Best Clothing Style:	whatever they feel comfortable in
Number of Drugs I have taken:	i thought this was about a boy or girl?
Number of CDs I own:	i have found the art of burning CD's, so to many.
Number of Piercings:	i only have 2 now, used to have 5
Number of Tattoos:	none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	I don't belive you should regret anything. I do regret not saying no though. I should have but I didn't.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

i got it

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 01:44:24 GMT

I figured it out. Sorta. Its anxiety attacks. I feel so glad i got it. So now i dont have to go to the doctors. Ha, i conquered the blood. Go fucking me. wooooooooooohoooo!

-runs to throw up-

okay back but ima go

hahahaha

right

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 04:55:54 GMT

okay i really just gotta type something or something yah know. see i may have did something horrible. completly and utterly stupid. and i dont see how i could have been such a fucked up person. i guess the smart side of my brain is saying that i was in the right and i should have pressed the issue. but the fucking stupid side of the emotional part of the brain is saying i fucked up so bad. incredibly incredibly bad. how could i have done that. and then he was all ill get on at 11 and its almost 12 and no tyrel. and im making myself sick i cant stop feeling like i gotta throw up. how could i have been so stupid. i lost a really great friend most likly outta this. i have done alot of fucking stupid things in my life but this is the first in a long time that i have actually caused, and want to take back so much im crying over. the worst part is i liked him. i really did hes a great person and everything. and knowing him he is probally dead on a carpet. he would do that. if he thought he lost all his friends hed go off and off himself. just fuck why the fuck am i such a fucking stupid bitch. i gotta think before i act and i just dont. and then i was reading something last night about a fight i had with another someone helluv days back and i was such a fucking bitch. i hate people that "contemplate" suicide but i am actually doing that. i really feel like i just gotta go to my room and slice my hand open. thats what i used to do is slice it deep. not on my hand actually but on my foot. always the same spot i still have the scar. maybe thats what is hould do. i did it cuz i just needed to hurt. knowing that i fucking have hurt others i just have to hurt myself more. i dont know what the fuck to do anymroe. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i think ima just sit here and wait til its 11 my time and if he still isnt online i know one thing is ill be crying myself to sleep. if i sleep at all. but fuck that suicide isnt an option. i wont kill myself. just i hurt someone else. fuck it you wouldnt understand anyways.

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 00:48:34 GMT

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic

At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung

You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping

Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 22:18:14 GMT

Thursday, May 19, 2005

i WANT A GUY..

who would move the hair away from my eyes & then kiss me.
hold my hand in line at the mall & make all the girls jealous.
a pretty boy. but, not so pretty that i feel akward.
someone who would think i was beautiful if i dressed so trashy it was classy.
someone who would sing to me at random moments.
who would let me sleep on their chest.
someone who is more goofy than romantic.
but, knows the right things to say & do at the right times.
a boy who would beat the shit out of someone if they called me fat.
someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.
he would apologize for calling too much & no matter how many times i tell him its okay, he still does it & i dont get sick of it.
someone who would let me gossip to him & would just smile & agree with everything i said.
he would throw stuffed animals at me when i acted dumb & then dog pile on me
& kiss me a millon times we would bet kisses on who could beat who on a playstation game.
.-*thats a millon years old*-.
& someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh he would surprise me with 25 cent rings.
he would take me to the park & put his hands around my waist & give me big bear hugs all the time.
someone who would kiss my neck just to have a reason to whisper a compliment into my ear.
& we'd always take pictures in photo booths.
he would never turn down a trip to the boardwalk.
& we'd play tag on the beach.
he would tell all his friends about me & smile when he did it.
we would make out in the rain.
he would tell me when he didnt think something looked good & i wouldnt mind.
he would TRY to teach me something but, we'd just end up laughing at each other.
he would run his fingers through my hair even if it was dirty.
he would share lollipops with me & get along with all of my friends.
he would never be afraid to say *i love you* infront of his friends.
& he would argue about silly things with me then make up.
a boy who would take me to target to just make fun of some of the stuff there.
we would kiss at midnight on new years.
a boy who would count stars with me. & make funny faces at each other while i'm on the phone
& be friends with my family.
someone who would stay home with me on a friday night just to help me make a dinner & watch moves together under the same blanket & squirt water guns at each other in the house.
someone who would tell me i'm beautiful but, not too often.
someone who would look me in the eyes & tell me something serious that was also funny & make me promise not to laugh.
someone who would make me laugh like no one else could.
someone who would hold me closer than normal when i'm sick & would play with my hair.
we would buy tons of disposible cameras & take lots of pictures.
but, mostly..
someone who would be my best friend & would never lie to me or break my heart..

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 02:07:26 GMT

Your Summer Anthem is Best Of You by the Foo Fighters

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

While you may seem bright on the outside, your insides have a distinct angst flavor.

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

HOLY CRAP! I SO LOVE THIS SONG!

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 20:49:39 GMT

How to make a Lela

Ingredients:

1 part success

3 parts arrogance

3 parts ego

Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little caring if desired!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 07:12:25 GMT

You Know You're From California When...

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

You were born somewhere else.

You know how to eat an artichoke.

The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

Your car has bullet-proof windows.

Left is right and right is wrong.

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

Your family tree contains "significant others."

You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.

You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.

More than clothes come out of the closets.

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.

Smoking in your office is not optional.

You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."

Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.

Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.

You consult your horoscope before planning your day.

A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.

All highways into the state say: "no fruits."

All highways out of the state say: "Go back."

The Terminator is your governor

You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH"

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

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Blogthings

You Know You're From the Bay Area When...

You get the same off-color email joke from 17 people in the same hour, and one of them is your wife.

Your "personal shopper" has become engaged to your "career coach".

You know that "taking the Nerd Bird" means you're flying to L.A ... for the 3rd time in a week.

You have a daughter named Meg and a son named URL.

You bought stock in Starbucks just for the free chocolate-covered coffee beans.

You recently built your children their first "tilt-up" concrete playhouse.

Almost all of the companies featured on your resume are no longer in business.

You make $120,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.

Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away.

You live an hour or more from the office so that you can afford a larger house.

You spend more time in your office and car than in your house.

You stop asking how much things cost, but instead ask "how long will it take?"

Two-thirds of the people you know are from Boston or New York, but you are living in PST.

You know vast differences difference between Thai, Vietnemese, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese, and Korean food.

Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that is not on the consumer market yet.

You go to "The City" on weekends but don't live there because you like your car.

You think that "I'm going to Fry's" is an acceptable excuse to leave the office for a while, and your boss does too.

You lost your alarm clock, but you'll get to work when you get there.

You go to an industrial-heavy-metal bar and see two guys get into a fight over what flavor of Unix is better.

You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware/software companies printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.

You know where Woz Way, Resistor Avenue, and Floppy Drive are located.

You know who and where Woz is.

You know that 280 North goes west and that 680 North goes east.

It rained ... and your birdbath fell over ... or your tree fell over ... or a utility pole fell over.

It rained ... and the spiders came in ... and the ants came in ... and the mice came in.

You realize that even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay Area, they only work on PowerPoint.

You see a billboard that says "FPG2ASIC" and understand what it means.

You can get the updated Diamond Monster 3D drivers by just walking across the street.

The phone company installed fiber-optic cable to your home but they can't afford to light it up.

You have more bandwidth inside your home than there is in most major universities.

Your wireless LAN is interfering with your wireless phone and your home automation system.

None of the people you work with are bible thumpers.

You get email from a co-worker at 10:00PM ... and you are both still in the office.

You scan yardsales for back issues of "Dr. Dobbs."

Your favorite computer reseller speaks only Cantonese.

Your workplace vending machines dispense "100% natural twig-bars" right next to Jolt cola and Instant Espresso mix.

No one brings radios to work because they listen to RealAudio.

There are more than six Z3s parked at your office during weekdays.

There are more than six Z3s parked at your office during weekends.

The Z3s are gradually turning into SUVs.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from the Bay Area.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

You Know You're Addicted to Harry Potter When...

You make a wand and try to use it.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

You call your favorite teacher Dumbledore.

You wear robes to school or work.

You make "floo powder", get in the fire, and try to go to your friends' house.

You have read all the books more than four times.

You've been bookstore at midnight to get the latest Harry Potter book before all your friends.

... And then you stayed up all night wearing it.

You've worn a Harry Potter costume in public.

You have a crush on one of the Harry Potter characters.

You've gotten at least one of your friends addicted to Harry Potter.

You actually caught the "Wand Order" mistake before you heard/read about it.

You are upset at the New York Times for creating a seperate childrens best seller list because of the Harry Potter books.

Using clues in the book, you have attempted to find the exact geographical location of Hogwarts.

You have constructed a timeline of events in the Harry Potter books.

You have attempted to figure out the exact ages of all the Weasley children?

You have spent time contemplating which main characters will die by the time the series is over.

You've been to see all the Harry Potter movies on opening night. (Bonus points for standing in line in costume!)

You've read Harry Potter fanfic.

You've written Harry Potter fanfic.

You run a Harry Potter fansite.

You visit The Leaky Cauldron daily.

You've met other Harry Potter fans from online in real life.

You've participated in a Harry Potter RPG.

You've dreamed about Harry Potter.

You have a Harry Potter poster on your wall.

Each Halloween, there's no question what you'll dress up as...!

You've spent time doing a timeline to see if you would have been old enough to date a certain character when you were in high school.

You've vacationed to London, simply to search for the Leaky Cauldron.

You own a black lab named Sirius Black.

You've knitted a Weasley sweater or Harry Potter scarf.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Harry Potter.

Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
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You Know You're Addicted to Photoshop When...

You see the world with one eye and stock images with the other.

When asked what the primary colors are, answer "RGB"

You get the urge to 'fix' poor quality images.

You start teaching your significant other to use this "evil" program and in the space of one afternoon convince them it's at least only quasi-evil in the face of PSP.

You ramble about a breakthrough in the piece you're doing to people who have no idea in hell what you're talking about

You ponder the meaning of existence without layers.

You never leave the house without a digicam and notepad.

You drop something and your brain tells you automatically "Ctrl-Z! Ctrl-Z!". When you realize it won't work, your brain tells you "Ctrl-Alt-Z! Ctrl-Alt-Z!"

You're getting dressed for something important and you look in the mirror and realize you would look so much better if you could just tweak the levels a little and apply a slight gaussian blur.

You stop on the street to rant about cheesey effects that should not be on professional posters.

You scream out fonts as they appear on TV.

You have dreams in "glowing edges"

You're standing by the ocean and wondering who used Ocean Ripple.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Photoshop.

Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

You Know You're Addicted to Ebay When...

Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you.

To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house.

Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they'll sell better individually or as a matched set.

Your spouse is loving and caring but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space.

You're the reason they adopted the "No selling your children's vital organs" policy.

ou find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread.

When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious and ask how many other bidders there were.

Just ask your kids, eRay and eFaye.

After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your spouse’s ear, "Excellent service, great communication! Would recommend again! AAAA++++"

You set your alarm clock for 3 am so you can log on to protect your bid.

You've called someone a naughty name for outbidding you at the last second.

You've questioned your sanity because of the price you've bid... more than once.

You've changed all your clocks to "eBay official time (PDT)."

You've bid on something even though the picture doesn't show up correctly.

You've purposely run up the bid on something similar for which you paid more.

You've rolled your eyes at the word "antique" or "vintage" used on something made in the past decade.

You've gritted your teeth each time you've clicked on a description that uses the word "L@@K."

You've turned up the volume on your email alert so you'll never miss an Outbid Notice.

You've made "My eBay" your default home page.

You've emailed a seller to correct their description with accurate dates or details.

You've come to rely on "convenience cash" from PayPal and wish you could pay all your bills like that.

You've earned a "Shooting Star" Feedback Profile for more than 10,000 purchases!

You won't go to estate auctions because they don't take PayPal.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Ebay.

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You Know You Drink Too Much When...

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar

When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof?

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Hotties.

You have a "happy hour" at home

When you are sober, people ask you what's wrong?

You spend all night making a board game called Alcohol Land

Although you drove home the other night you can't remember how you got home or where you parked your car

"Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol."

Your favorite drink is ethanol.

"Why does everybody think I have a prinking droblem?! - I don't have a prinking droblem!"

"I don't have a drinking prob..pleb..prub.. *hic* Pash me another, tarbender."

You can spend a whole night holding up walls to prevent their (your) collapse.

You instinctively know where the alcohol is in a store you've never been in before

Clubs raise their drink prices because you haven't attended in a while

You think beer and ramen make a good breakfast

You frequently urinate outdoors.

When you first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half-hour later you're afraid you won't.

You fall asleep taking a dump.

You believe that spilling a beer is alcohol abuse.

You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.

You find it's easier to study drunk.

You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center.

Beer ads make sense.

You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet and you're so dry that it sounds mighty thirst quenching.

You wake the next morning and start drinking a few of the half empties left sitting around the room.

The space on your driver's license that tells your eye color reads "bloodshot".

You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.

You mix your cocktails by the litre.

You grow a beard because it stops beer that's running down your chin.

You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic Zen-like piss.

When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.

You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth

Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

"Norm!" is what they say when you enter the bar.

You can focus better with one eye closed

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar

You fall off the floor.

You discover in the morning that liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously disappeared.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore.

The glass keeps missing your mouth.

Vampires get woozy after bitting you.

At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.

Every night you're beginning to find your roomate's cat more and more attractive.

If you're on a diet, you cut back your food calories to allow for alcohol calories.

"Take me drunk, I'm home!"

You wake up naked lying in the corner of a bus depot.

You drink to get over a hangover.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who drink too much.

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You Know You're Addicted to Coffee When...

You can jump start your car without cables.

You answer the door before people knock.

You get a speeding ticket even when you are parked.

You've worn out your third pair of shoes this week.

Your eyes stay open even when you sneeze.

You grind coffee beans in your mouth.

You can type sixty words per minute -- with your feet.

You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

Instant coffee takes too long to make.

You channel surf faster without the remote.

You don't sweat... you percolate.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

You short out motion detectors.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

The only time you are standing still is during an earthquake!

You've worn the finish off your coffee table.

All your kids are named Joe.

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

People get dizzy just watching you.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.

When someone asks 'How are you?' you say, 'Good to the last drop'.

You buy milk by the barrel.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You can't even remember your second cup.

You chew on other people's fingernails.

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

You don't get mad, you get steamed.

You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.

You don't tan, you roast.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

You help your dog chase its tail.

You introduce your spouse as your coffee mate.

You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.

You lick your coffeepot clean.

You name your cats Cream and Sugar.

You ski uphill.

You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.

You speed-walk in your sleep.

You spend every vacation visiting Maxwell House.

You think being called a drip is a compliment.

You think CPR stands for Coffee Provides Resuscitation.

You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low.

Your taste buds are so numb; you could drink your lava lamp.

Your Thermos is on wheels.

You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

You've worn out the handle on your favourite mug.

You take your morning coffee with you in the shower.

Your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to coffee.

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You Know You're Addicted to AIM When...

Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome

You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences...

You're pissed off your buddy list can only hold 200 screen names

You begin to say hehehe instead of laughing

You can now type over 70 wpm

You type messages to people who are right next to you or on the phone with you.

You won't work at a company that blocks AIM

You sign on and immediately get 10 messages from other people

You have a few screen names, some of them secret.

You type in random screen names, just to see if anyone has them.

Your screenname has the year 2002 or earlier in it.

You know what %n means

You don't break for the bathroom - even though you've got to go real bad - until you think of a witty away message.

You check the away messages of your buddies, every day, to make sure they haven't changed.

You have a few people on your buddy list just to spy on them.

You've had a meaningful conversation with a bot.

You learned Photoshop to make a super cool buddy icon

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to AIM.

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You Are Best Described By...

Girl With Hair Ribbon

by Roy Lichtenstein

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.

Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.

If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.

Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.

Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.

If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.

Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

You Are the Very Gay Velma!

She might not even realize it...
But Velma is all about Daphne ... not Fred!

What Gay Childhood Icon Are You?

Your EQ is

67
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Your Famous Blogger Twin is Wil Wheaton

You're a friendly, funny guy (or girl) next door
With more than a touch of geekiness

Who's Your Famous Blogger Twin?

You are 80% Aquarius

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

What kind of blogger are you?

You Are a Martini

You're not a total lush, but you do like your drinks strong
For you, drinking is an art. An experience to be relished.
That doesn't mean you don't get really really drunk.
A few strong martini's, and you're dancing on the bar!

What alcoholic drink are you?

Your New Years Resolution Should Be: Tell your boss to screw off

Seriously. You know you really, really want to.
Life's too short to have a job you hate...
And though you may be a success, you're secretly miserable.
Time to try out a new career - maybe one involving g-strings?

What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be?

You Should Vote for Ralph Nader.

Sorry - Shirts and Shoes are Required in the Voting Booth.

Which presidential candidate should you vote for?

Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson

"Fall, with you I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath
I hope it lasts"

In 2004 you fell in love. Let's hope it lasts.

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

You Are In a Decent Mood

You aren't turning cartwheels, but you're having a pretty good day.

Some ups, some downs, but overall you're coming out ahead.

And who knows? Tomorrow could be even better!

What Mood Are You In?

You Belong in the UK

Blimey!

A little proper, a little saucy.

You're so witty and charming...

No one notices your curry breath

What English Speaking Country Do You Belong In?

Your Brain is 40.00% Female, 60.00% Male

You have a total boy brain

Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts

And while your emotions do sway you sometimes...

You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

You Are 65% Redneck

You're just about as welcome up in town as a hair in a biscuit.

Ain't no hidin' your redneck roots!

How Redneck Are You?

You Scored 30% Correct

You know some 80s stuff

Like that Paula Abdul was a star back then

But you're not sure who Suzie Q was

And you don't know what Samantha Fox was really famous for!

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

Your Linguistic Profile:

35% Dixie

25% Yankee

20% General American English

10% Midwestern

10% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

You Were Actually Born Under:

You have both a fiery energy and a warm heart.
Your charisma and charm makes it easy for you to influence others.
Lucky in life, you also have a reputation of being lucky in love.
Power hungry, you are determined to get what you want - no matter what it takes.

You are most compatible with a Monkey or Rat.

You Should Have Been Born Under:

You've got a ton of energy - and need plenty of room to roam.
You tend to follow your whims, and it's hard for you to stick to one thing.
Specific jobs, loves, and friends are always changing and never a part of your life for long.
Very intuitive, you tend to know what people are thinking before they say a word.

You are most compatible with a Dog or Tiger.

What Year Were You Born Under?

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Exploring

You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name.
You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs.

An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles.
You show people how to question their models of the world.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Visioning

You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.

An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's Your Thinking Style?

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 06:30:41 GMT

You Are 19 Years Old

19

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 06:28:52 GMT

Your Birthdate: February 17

Your birth on the 17th day of the month suggests that you are very lucky financially, because this date indicates a solid business sense.

Although you are probably very honest and ethical, this birthday enables you to be shrewd and successful in the world of business and commercial enterprise.

You have excellent organizational, managerial, and administrative capabilities enabling you to handle large projects and significant amounts of money with relative ease.

You are ambitious and highly goal-oriented, although you may be better at starting projects than you are at finishing them.

A sensitivity in your nature, often repressed below the surface of awareness, makes it hard to give or receive affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 06:27:52 GMT

Your Slanguage Profile

Canadian Slang: 50%

Prison Slang: 50%

Aussie Slang: 25%

British Slang: 25%

Victorian Slang: 25%

New England Slang: 0%

Southern Slang: 0%

What Slanguage Do You Speak?

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 06:24:19 GMT

Your Summer Love Type is Playful

You're smart enough to know that summer isn't the time to be serious.
You plan to keep it light this summer - casual, flirty, and fun.
Getting wrapped up in anyone person is not in the cards for you.
Just be careful that someone doesn't get too into you!

What's Your Summer Love Style?

Well. Hi

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 04:03:53 GMT

Okay, hectic schedule coming up.

June 22nd-23rd - - -

Dad and S-Mom are driving to Livermore. Must watch Misty all night (yippie).

June 24th - - - Dad has 6:30 a.m class. Must get Misty to pool by 1:00 p.m. Heather coming to get me around 3:00 p.m.

June 24th-27th - - - Heather's House (HAPPY GRADUATION MY FRIEND!) Dad coming to get me Sunday evening.

June 29th - - - Mommies Birthday July 2nd - - - Going with Dad to Antioch for the day.

July 4th - - - Going to Colusa to do fireworks. July 9th - - - Going to Meridian to see Cole's fireworks.

July 16th - - - Going to Antioch with Dad and Misty. Picking up Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince at Barnes & Noble. Dad going to Bingo, so me and Misty are going to go see Cory. At 12 midnight, driving to Reno (almost 9 hour drive). Spinning the night.

July 17th - - - Going from Reno (or wherever we stopped) into Salt Lake City. Seeing Craig. Spinning the night.

July 18th-24th - - - Shooting up to Billings, Montana where dad and family may move. Looking at different houses.

July 28th - - - Hopefully to U.K! One can only hope.

Yah thats my coming schedule. But trust me the whole vacation is planned around HP! Lol, my dad was getting mad at that though. And while im on vacation i'll have no contact to the internet. Which is good in some ways, because I can't read spoilers. But its also bad, because I am going to have to go NO MAIL on my yahoo groups. Turn off my Yahoo Alerts. And get someone to feed the runts. Today we went grocery shopping. Went to Sam's Club and Winco for "just a few items". Seven hours, a full SUV, and almost $500 dollars less, we were on our way home. I'm looking forward to going to Heathers. She graduated Friday, I am so proud of her. Eh, I better go though. I think i've got allergies...damn.

I heart ya'll!

Lela

blah why do i get everyone to write me emails

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 03:50:48 GMT

I know I know I got it from John's journal. But 'ey I just wanna see!

Top Commenters on iizcrazihun's LiveJournal

1	daydreamer07	6
2	c4n4d14n_h1pp13	3
3	iizcrazihun	3
4	guitarnprogress	3
5	sue_bridehead	1
6	wildcat_kermit	1
7	phoenixrae	1

Total Commenters: 7
Total Comments: 18
Report generated 6/19/2005 8:49:35 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.5

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 21:52:04 GMT

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Lela M.
Birthday:	Feb. 17th, 88
Birthplace:	Um, actually I don't really know.
Current Location:	Colusa, Cali
Eye Color:	Hazel sometimes
Hair Color:	Blond I think
Height:	5'2ish
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Im right handed, but im trying to become both!
Your Heritage:	Everything really, except french. Damn the french.
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Do slippers count?
Your Weakness:	Saying no
Your Fears:	Spiders
Your Perfect Pizza:	None I hate pizza
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Move
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	blah
Thoughts First Waking Up:	What fucking time is it?
Your Best Physical Feature:	I've been told it was my neck.
Your Bedtime:	Go til' I crash I suppose
Your Most Missed Memory:	"The Missions"
Pepsi or Coke:	Regular pepsi, Cherry Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Fuck thas all we got in Colusa is BK so fuck that, Ill take a big mac and fries
Single or Group Dates:	Just depends on the mood i reckon
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	eck, neither
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	No and I really don't like people who do.
Do you Swear:	Fuck yes! lol yah I do
Do you Sing:	Ah, I make even the worst singer ashamed. But I do constantly!
Do you Shower Daily:	Yah, usually two or three times.
Have you Been in Love:	Eh, I don't know really. I think its to complicated to know.
Do you want to go to College:	Sorta, I'd perfer to go ROTC
Do you want to get Married:	Sometimes yes, but if im cynical then no.
Do you belive in yourself:	Most of the time no.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Yahp
Do you think you are Attractive:	Not really.
Are you a Health Freak:	Not really
Do you get along with your Parents:	Sometimes, depends on if they wanna take the effort.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	No hell no I hate em
Do you play an Instrument:	Yah a couple well alot, but i havnt right now.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Eh, sorta. I kinda got drunk off my ass but that was just shit
In the past month have you Smoked:	No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	HELL NO
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yah I have a life lol
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	nah i really dont like tha place
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Yup with peanut butter
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Ew fucking hell no
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Yah
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	lol, not recently
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	not recently
Ever been Drunk:	Yah
Ever been called a Tease:	Yah
Ever been Beaten up:	Sorta
Ever Shoplifted:	Yah
How do you want to Die:	I think i'd rather it be fun. Like dying while bungee jumping. I wanna go out with a bang
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Agricultural Farm Manager
What country would you most like to Visit:	The UK Glasgow
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	light is what i love
Favourite Hair Color:	dark
Short or Long Hair:	SHORT
Height:	5'5 and above
Weight:	I really don't care. I like em chunky cuz I feel helluv safe, but than again the skinny kids got them arms!
Best Clothing Style:	Comfortable
Number of Drugs I have taken:	NONE
Number of CDs I own:	TO many to count
Number of Piercings:	um 3
Number of Tattoos:	heh 1
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	One thing
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

We are the champions, of the PEAS!

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:54:25 GMT

Wow, the fair is in Colusa. Woo hoo, I honestly think I am not going. But, besides all that, I HAVE A LIFE. I will inform you by copying and pasting a conversation I had with a friend.

Lela: I HAVE A LIFE JORDON ME I HAVE A LIFE
Jordon: COURSE YOU DO!!! EVERYONE DOES... YOU GET WHAT EVERYONE ELSE GETS...YOU GET A LIFETIME!
Lela: no i mean a social life
Jordon: yea, everyone has one!
Lela: grr i mean im not gonna be a hermit
Jordon: umm... ok? whas a hermit!
Lela: ima choke you to death a hermit is someone who stays at home all the time i was one now im not cuz I have a date for tommorow
Jordon: umm... IM A HERMIT THEN OMG! THIS IS SO AWESOME.IM A HERMIT! I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ONE!
Lela: your missing the point here
Jordon: like...a ball point? because i have one right here in my pocket!
Lela: *bangs head on keyboard* yah know what ima just go tell sumone else
Jordon: umm, ok
Lela: okay look
i was a hermit
now im not
cuz im going out tommorow night
on a date
so im no longer a hermit
Jordon: ok but can i still be a hermit tho im going out tonight
Lela: forget the hermit
Jordon: O K
Lela: i didnt have a life now i do
Jordon: ok thats good...like a reborn kinda thing?
Lela: your an idiot
Jordon: i thought i was a hermit!
Lela: STOP IT
Jordon: fine
Lela: okay i have a date tomorrow which means ill leave the house which means im cool

by the way, im lela :D:D:D.

I may be moving to Montana. Dunno yet so keep it on the downlow. Haha, i typed download. Well, I thought it was funny. I had to put down one of my dogs today Curtis. He was 7 when we got him, and we got him when I was 1. I'm 17 now. You do the math. It was hard though I really cried. He was just such a huge part of the family. My dad tried to compensate by offering me to buy a grey hound. Just add salt to the wounds, hey daddie!

I do have a recomendation, and for anyone that reads this...I have a confession. I am a closet HP-freak. I havnt really told anyone I am into fanfiction and stuff, unless its online. Now I know alot of people don't read this, but the ones that do are my friends. Please dont judge me. Trust me its pretty fun and I happen to enjoy it alot. So, with that said my recommendation for any of my other HP friends is ...

http://fanfiction.portkey.org/story/3161
Hold Me, Heal Me by sugarbear_1269 - Reviews(137) - D/G
SPOILERS: Books 1 - 5
Description: In a world where Death Eaters reign and good wizards hide in plain sight, preconceived notions must be redefined. AU for post-Hogwarts setting.

It hasnt been updated for a while so we need to get this girl rolling! Well, Im off to the fair. Yah yah i know.

Love yah lots

Lela

My give a damns busted

Tue, 24 May 2005 03:20:31 GMT

What do you do when you think you like someone, but your not sure? I am just a confused child. I mean i have been talking to these two guys. One is just an old friend and one isnt and grr

not as long as id like but at least i updated